Kaylynn Johnsen
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Austism Mama Writing

My son’s diagnosis

4/5/2020

2 Comments

 
​Autism from a mama who has been there. I am going to try to post every day this month. Please feel free to ask questions in the comments.

Early days: 

Right after my son’s diagnosis, his psychologist called me out. He told me that I had given up. And until that moment I hadn’t realized that that is precisely what I had done. I was just surviving and trying to keep him alive. I didn’t have the time or the energy for anything else. My first job as a mama with a child on the spectrum was to work on me. Because if I’m not up to the challenge, who would be? 

I had to put on my big girl panties and gird up my loins. My son’s psychologist helped me grow in confidence by giving me the tools and education I would need to help my son. I knew I had a partner. That made me stronger.

I had to learn a new language. I called it a concrete language—exact meaning: no metaphors, no ambiguities, no interpretation. “Put away your shoes,” means nothing except shoes. “Put your shoes on the shelf in the closet in your room.” Boom owned it.

I had to recognize that he was going to have different rules than the ones I used with the rest of the children. And I had to help them understand why.

I had to be willing to drop what I was doing because consequences and rewards had to be immediate. 

I had to decide which hills were worth dying on and what things I could let go.

I had to teach my other children that this “unfair” thing was our new reality and that we needed to work together. I have to say that they surprised me with their acceptance, flexibility, and love. They taught me more than they will ever know.

Celebrate the small stuff. Be flexible. Laugh.
2 Comments
Donna Johnson
4/17/2020 06:31:38 pm

This had to be so tough to realize that you had to reinvent yourself and your parenting style — for your son, but also for your other 3 kids. It had to be rough to figure out how to explain it to the other kids (why is he allowed to...? Why can’t I ...? Why is HE special?).

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Kaylynn Johnsen
4/20/2020 09:45:36 am

It is amazing what you can do when motivated by love. And the love of family is one of the strongest loves there is. I was blessed that all of the children loved their brother so much that they were willing to work to understand and help. They are still his best friends and allies.

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    Kaylynn Johnsen

    Just a Grandma with many stories to tell.

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