Kaylynn Johnsen
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Austism Mama Writing

Age-appropriate versus expectations.

4/22/2020

8 Comments

 
Autism from a mama who has been there. I am going to try to post every day this month. Please feel free to ask questions in the comments.

Age-appropriate versus expectations.

There are many different parts to your child. And your autistic child will be a different age in each area. This makes it pretty tricky to parent but, at the same time, once you know your child's developmental age, easier.

Socially, educationally, spiritually, physically are just a few of the different aspects you will have to determine. Your child may have memorized every dinosaur fossil found by man but still not know the name of his/her classmates.

Fortunately, there are plenty of developmental charts online now. Figuring your child's developmental age in all these categories may seem overwhelming. Still, once the work is done, you have a foundation for a better understanding of your child, what is appropriate, and give you an idea of what might come next. And you can share this information with family and educators.

When explaining to your other children (and other family members) why it appears that this child gets away with things they couldn't or isn't allowed to do. They must understand the distinction between biological age and developmental age. Then your child can have allies instead of enemies.

Physical growth doesn't happen at a set pace, and neither does developmental growth. There will be periods of stagnation (don't get discouraged) and giant leaps forward. And each area is going to develop differently. And just when you think you have it figured out ...

Knowing the developmental age is essential in knowing how to set up chores, restrictions, consequences, and teaching for continued growth. Take expectations and toss them in the trash. No one expects a toddler to mow the lawn, and developmental age isn't visible from the outside.
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Celebrate the small stuff. Be flexible. Laugh.
8 Comments
Anna Henzi
4/22/2020 02:09:20 pm

This process is hard! I guess here is trial and error like anything you do in life. Children do not come with a manual. It might be simpler if they did come with one.

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Kaylynn Johnsen
4/22/2020 02:46:12 pm

So true. Or lights like in my car: hugs needed, space, stress level high, quiet please. I wish.

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Torie
4/22/2020 05:51:50 pm

Wow.... so true love this. I feel like this applies to everyone. When we drop expectations and meet people where they are... with love and compassion (including ourselves) it let’s a lot more love in and a lot less frustration!

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Kaylynn Johnsen
4/23/2020 03:17:24 pm

Isn't it great when we can take something that we learn in one area of life and apply it in others? I feel like that is why we are all here, having different experiences yet able to relate.

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Kae
4/22/2020 07:00:32 pm

Good things to be reminded of. I like the idea of helping the rest of the family too.

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Kaylynn Johnsen
4/23/2020 03:18:28 pm

Autism is family diagnosis, helping others in the family understand the child with autism helps everyone be able to love more effectively.

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Kimber
4/23/2020 06:03:24 am

I like this. And, relating to autism or not, I feel that it is so easy to get caught up in the milestones of other people's children or compare yourself with other moms. But when we really just let those things go and just love, we see the most growth and appreciate the small more important triumphs.

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Kaylynn Johnsen
4/23/2020 03:15:25 pm

That is so right! Celebrate the small stuff. Be flexible. Laugh. You are an awesome mom!

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    Kaylynn Johnsen

    Just a Grandma with many stories to tell.

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